This morning as I was walking into work, another employee (who's name and department shall remain nameless) was walking right in front of me and said, "shoot, forgot my badge again."  Not a big deal, I had my badge and was able to swipe us both into the employee entrance, for which she thanked me.  She then continued on about how she always forgets her badge at home, so I said, "oh yea, gotta keep it in your wallet or something."

The woman replied with, "I have this thing where if I have something in my hands, anything at all, I will think its my badge and just walk out the door with it.  Today I was holding an apple and thought it was my badge hahaha!"

Seriously?  This happens frequently? 

really quick:

I'm at work and I'm procrastinating because I don't feel like being at work.  They've turned on the 24/7 Christmas music and it is starting to make my ears bleed.  I mean, I like a Christmas Carol every now and then, but the CONSTANT onslaught is just too much.  It gets especially bad when I hear songs like "the christmas donkey YEEHAW!" followed up by dogs barking jingle bells.  However, every now and then my ear picks up on The Beach Boys singing "Little Saint Nick," and then I'm happy all over and just want to twirl around in a big pile of tinsel.

Also: each year the hospital gives all of its employees a christmas gift in the form of a giant frozen turkey.  I'm picking mine up today, yet I have no plans to cook/eat/launch the bird.  My mom doesn't want it, I'm going to talk to my aunt and Gabe's family also, but if nobody claims this thing I'm just going to drop it off at the food pantry.  Anybody out there interested in a free turkey?

the buzz around the office this morning is Dunkin Doughnuts coffee.  Some are convinced that they put drugs in it, others state that it tastes so good because they don't rinse out or clean the coffee pots.

I say they take well roasted beans, grind them fresh, and brew evenly without burning.  But what the hell do I know?

I've never been much of a "gamer"--sure, plenty of my friends are crazy about videogames and therefore I have some knowledge, but really truly the only game I ever gave a shit about was Mario...and that was in the early 90s.

but tomorrow my friends--9/9/09--TOMORROW!!--is the release of "The Beatles: Rock Band."  I have never been more amped for a video game before in my life.  Three part vocal harmonies, opening up mystery tracks and even the long-lost Beatle's Christmas, tracks from Cirque "Love," plus the new kickass guitars and drum set...ahh, I've been wanting to play this game for so long!  and finally, it comes out tomorrow! TOMORROW!  I can finally jam with George!  plus all the remastered albums are being released tomorrow--while I have not listened to these yet, I did read a glowing review online today.  If I could only buy one of these remasters, it would have to be Revolver--if you want to experience the magic of the Beatles, I suggest you start with this album, and then just let the heavens open and rain down beautiful Beatle magic.

the truth of the matter:

I take meds on a daily basis for depression and anxiety.  I've struggled with these issues for, essentially, my entire life.  It wasn't until halfway through college I finally bit the bullet and said, "yes, I need help.  I need psych care, I need medication."  I had been so resistant for so long, but finally after finding the correct meds at the correct dose, I've been able to function and be productive.  My mental health issues are no secret, and I often tell patient's my own personal story in hopes that it can inspire them to be pro-active about their own mental wellbeing.

That being said, last night I fell asleep without taking any of my meds, and now I'm at work crawling out of my skin.  I feel like there is a brick on my chest preventing me from breathing, and the desire to pull out my hair while simultaneously puking is overwhelming.  Its amazing to me that just missing one dose can make me feel so lousy.  And how am I supposed to explain my mood to coworkers?  "Yea, I'm a total lunatic and I need to go to bed."  Sure, right--that'll go over well.  I'll end up strapped to a bed and shipped out to St. Catherine's psych ward.  It took every ounce of my being to get out of bed this morning, and now I'm simply counting down the hours until I can put this "I'm fine" mask away, go home, and get back in my jammies. 

and now the ER is paging me uggggg

--update--

it should be noted that I did take my meds in the morning, and after giving them enough time to kick in (and after eating some lunch), I felt much better.  I'm home now and getting ready to go out! Yay for the weekend and being social!